Reflections on My Life's Journey Healing Abuse

Funny how life works ...

I am sitting here at Blue Hills thinking about how hard things have been over the last 10yrs for me, my family and many other wonderful people I know and all the beautiful surprises that are beginning to emerge. I am sharing this not to get sympathy,  but to show that no matter how dire life can seem, anything can change in a moment if we have faith.

I was VERY successful in many past endeavours which in light of recent exciting events have been getting much reflection lately. However, some of my greatest challenges surfaced over the passed 4yrs w a brutal narcissistic abusive ex who has been relentless in attempts to destroy my life at all costs ... and at a calculatable financial loss of over $600k.  I can not control what he chooses to do. However, I can choose my reactions to his grievous and malicious  actions.

Through these very difficult life lessons with a karmic past, I was forced to close a very successful health and wellness business and later laid off from teaching at a wonderful college with some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I have never had so many obstacles in life and career as I have since 2006 all as a result of NOT listening to my gut and marrying the wrong person.  At times, losing faith that things would turn around.

The pendulum has swung. The Phoenix has risen. And karma is quite angry. As the saying goes, every dog gets their day. I am still waiting, but I grow more hopeful every day.

Of coarse I had to deal with these aweful things, and struggled many times trying to find ways to not let things out of my control, control my life and destroy all the successful potentials I had to offer life.  I went back to my roots. Accepted certain gifts I have ... many I am still working on accepting my abilities and talents. ... Opened myself to ALL opportunities before me regardless of restrictions ... confronted and overcame many fears (still working on many) . .. and stayed connected to my spirituality. .. The gutters have been cleaned, scrubbed,  and ready for the water to flow freely once again through the channels of success in the spring.

I am grateful for all the blessings and surprised opportunities that have been rising over the passed few months. Many of these including celebrity events, charity events, volunteer movie set opportunities. However, the greatest opportunity was having the courage to come out of the closet regarding my psychic mediumship abilities which have been utilized in the past to some degree to help me in my work in health care with analysis, treatment, and patient care as well as my teaching style in the college, helping other victims of abuse to heal, my church, my spirituality and elsewhere. 

I am even MOST grateful for those individuals who have entered into my life during the darkest of my days. Yet became my friend, supported me, and loved me unconditionally without judgement.  You all know who you are. I am grateful.  All the wonderful transformations happening in my life now, I owe to you. I love you all and hopes I can be there for each and every one of you as you have for me. I have never felt more like me again as I have over the past few months.

Thank you all and thank you spirit for finally placing my life back on track.

My mantra and Prayer For This Week's Court

My Mantra:
I am safe. I am grounded. I am protected.

My Prayer:
Dear infinite God of love and light,  I ask that you call upon Archangel Raphael to help keep me calm as well as identify and release any anxities or fears in the midst of this week's life changing events that do not serve my highest and best and help me identify and clear any blockages that may be in my way. I ask that you call upon Archangel Michael and Ida Ten to give me the strength, clarity, and ability to vocalize and communicate in a clear, concise, factual, and evidential way that I need in pursuit of justice for my family. I also ask that you call upon any reinforcements that I may need to finally help me in winning this long drawn out battle.  Thank you

Counting the Small Miracles in the Midst of Chaos

SMALL MIRACLES DO HAPPEN -

In the midst of high anxiety, heart palpitations and chronic stress due to certain life circumstances wielding many injustices in my life right now surrounding the ongoing family court abuse litigation which may cause me to go to jail May 22nd unless immediate intervention is done ... comes along the voice of an angel as I submerge to the Park Street redline platform. 

Thank you spirit for the gift of beauty in the midst of such chaos. 

I hear you. I am listening. I am grateful. I am pausing to enjoy this moment in time. 

I know I am supported.

Thank you for giving me the strength I so desperately need right now. 

Have a blessed day

Fear and Abuse

Fear can be the most debilitating thing to keep you from the kind of life the universe has to offer. Is fear keeping you from achieving your true potential? Do you even know if fear is your root cause.

I wrote this blog in my early years trying to find the answers to my desperate need to heal and move forward from the abuse I suffered.

Ever wonder why victims stay with their abusers and DON'T leave? Many are handicapped by the years of fear and control instilled in them by the abuser. Fear of homelessness. Fear of the inability to provide for the children. Fear the abuser will kill the other parent, children, or everyone in a last ditch effort of control. Fear of financial disasters. Fear of losing their children. The list can grow with every threat and action.

Click here to read the entire blog ... http://fearandlawofattraction.blogspot.com/2009/05/fear-is-worse-than-abuser-themself-as.html

The Power of "Believing"

This is a blog I wrote a few years ago for a grass roots organization whose mission is to research solutions to the epidemic of abuse and promote healing. 

This blog was about the divine messages and support from spirit in healing from abuse.This blog was one of my firsts being confronted with the divine and the divine confirming to me that I was not alone. I do have support for what I was experiencing from all the abuse and repeated traumas.

Do You "Believe"? - Seven Days Of Fantastic Events and Flashing Billboard Signs

2009 has been a challenging year for most, but with belief and trust, anything is possible & 2010 will be a much better year. Don't let fear dictate your future.

I personally have had the word "believe thrown in my face like a flashing billboard in such an obvious way for 7 days straight starting on December 6th 2009... Starting with a sermon at my church that Sunday on the word "believe". The biggest thing I noticed as much as I noticed the words is the word "believe" is what is prevalent...Not the words belief or believing, but "Believe"....

Here is the link to read this blog in its entirety. http://do-you-believe1234.blogspot.com/2009/12/do-you-seven-days-of-fantastic-events.html

Divine Intervention

Here is a blog I wrote for a new organization whose mission was to research solutions to the epidemic of abuse and promote healing. 

I have had some life challenges the past couple years. Who hasn't right? Well I won't go into my life's story yet - that may have to wait for 20/20 or Oprah.

Have you ever questioned yourself or doubt. Let fear control your every thought and move? I have.

This blog is about the one single event that changed EVERYTHING and the pendulum swung the other way. After that day, I knew the only thing I knew I could trust was spirit and I never looked back except for asking for confirmations.

Here is the link to that blog http://isthisdivineintervention.blogspot.com/2009/05/i-have-had-some-life-challenges-past.html

Being Blessed & Life's Journey

I am blessed with spirit guiding me to the wonderful people in my life currently and assisting me with clearing out all the cancerous souls that were preventing my soul to flourish.

Life can hand you a deck of cards that at times makes you feel no matter what card is pulled, you lose and there is no way out of your situation.  Not true.  It's all an illusion to some degree as you can not choose the cards given to you, but you sure can choose how you react to them and how you play those cards.   A hard lesson I have been learning over the past 10years and still learning.

However, I'm grateful for those life lessons going through this journey. These lessons give you the strength, wisdom, and endurance to move forward in even the darkest of light.  It is like training for a marathon.  You may not know how to start when you are in the thick of it, but as you journey through it, problem solving along the way, maintaining faith and belief, staying strong, sticking to your goals, treating your mind, body, and spirit healthy, you will prevail. Will it be as you exactly hoped it be?  Probably not, but then again, life gives you surprises along the way and challenges you to make you better - better at your craft, better at relationships or family, a better person, better at gratitude or positive thinking, better at your health or whatever it may be. Someone once told me, "it is always darkest before it becomes dawn".  I always tell myself that when I see myself possibly moving backwards.

Learning those lessons are very important so you will no longer have to endure the same hardships again.  AND learning those lessons with a positive outlook and not with guardedness or preservation as those will give you a false sense of learning those lessons you are to learn.

So what cancers do you need to heal, treat or cut out of your life, and what lessons do you have to learn or struggling to learn to move forward in your life?